Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A-Leaping is Included

Here is this year’s 12 Days of Christmas Price Index.

Buying everything in the quantities specified in the song would cost about $87,402.00, about 1% higher than last year.

Though I see a problem in the calculation: “The Partridge in a Pear Tree is down 27.3 percent to $159.99. The partridge came in 50 percent below last year at $10.00 and the pear tree is $149.99, off 25 percent.

A partridge is only $10.00? An untrained partridge, perhaps.

I contend that one must not simply purchase a partridge and a pear tree, but rather a partridge that stays in the tree. And of course it will be substantially more expensive to buy a partridge that is pre-trained to not leave the tree.

...Unless - as stated recently by a wise girl with whom I frequently engage conversationally and happen to be dating - you just tie the bird to the tree. This only adds around $5 for the price of bird shackles to the total, bringing it up to the $87,407.00 range, or thereabouts. Let’s assume the bird can survive on an all-pear diet. And also that bird shackles cost $5.

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