Better Than Malaria Nets: The Shocking Conclusion

So here's the important point from the last post - part one - of this critically acclaimed series:

It seems that people generally don't understand that their stuff is the true measure of their quality of life and their wealth. While sunsets, sex and satisfaction are all free (or cheap), it's the fact that we've all got toilets, air conditioning, shelter, refrigerators, hand soap, TVs, cell phones, iPods, toothpaste and tap water that makes us actually wealthy. In fact, if you have just a few of these things, you shouldn't really fall into the category of impoverished. The poverty line for a family of four is about $20,400 per year, which is more than enough to own every one of those things listed.

(If you find that hard to swallow, read the break down I wrote about for my second post. Warning: It's another commentary on poverty and common misconceptions, only it's loaded with Time Bandits quotes. ...And STILL not very interesting...)

I know I'm not saying anything new: Anyone reading this post surely understands how great life is in the U.S. compared to most of the rest of the world. The real question I've tried to figure out, though, is what is the best single indication that we're better off compared to 30 years ago, or compared to other countries, or compared to our ideals?

It's not toilets, shoes or even television, as they've been around in basically the same form for many, many years. It's not even automobiles, as most people in the lower incomes have been able to afford at least a used POS for decades. It's not lawnmowers, the square footage of our houses, or even expensive bottled water, as these things are just more extravagant variants of reasonably useful and/or utilitarian items.

No, the one thing that has improved right along with our wealth, has reflected our values & especially our ability to innovate, is owned by all economic classes, has changed substantially over the years and offers little in terms of utilitarian value to the people who actually spend their money on it: Children's Toys.

That's right - Children's Toys. I admit they're not "one thing" as I said, but the category is one thing. Don't argue semantics, dammit.


So check these effers out:
These are two-way communicator watches. When I was a kid, I emulated this kind of thing by drawing pictures of a tiny microphone and speakers onto a notebook and "communicated" descriptions of unfamiliar planets out in "Federated" space that I - and this guy - were exploring. I was only a kid 15 years ago or so, and for some reason even walkie-talkies were hard to come by, let alone every kid's dream of communicator watches.



Next is a $19 football that measures the distance it's thrown:


If this isn't screaming "material progress" then I don't know what is. You know what kids in Haiti play with? Regular, dirty footballs. Only there they call 'em futbals.

Actually, they're soccer balls - but they sure as hell don't measure distance now, do they?



Another shocking example of kids - KIDS, mind you! - having access to technology only available to the super-rich 25 years ago:

This is a "spy car" you can get for less than $90. Basically you can drive it around and record video from the car's camera. If that's not the exact thing you always wanted when you were a kid, you must have been beaten into derangement by violent stepparents. Or maybe you just respected people's privacy... Whichever...

Do you recall the multi-thousand dollar video cameras that parents in the 1980s used to record their kids at soccer practice and home birthday parties? ...Very large and very expensive crappy devices that required three extra giant batteries and VHS tapes. Now these people's grand-children can mock their grandparents by running an RC car into their non-genetically enhanced (it's the growth hormone in the kids' chocolate milk!!!) old-people legs and video-taping the whole event, including the part where grandma says, "what is that...? some sorta Magnovox or something attached to that nifty little toy there? eh? EH?"

That's progress!




Finally, we've got the most symbolic, yet useless, children's toy I've ever seen - A virtual ATM that actually requires a PIN to access the kid's cash ($39.95):


I once had a tall, plastic jar-type thing that sort of separated coins when you dumped 'em in. I thought it was amazing. This virtual ATM, though, is fantastic! I hope we realize the implications of children owning password-protected safes for their paper money. How much paper money do kids have, anyway? Is it enough to require digital encryption?

I suppose going to the ATM is such a common thing these days that kids need all the practice they can get... You wouldn't want your son or daughter to be the one that holds up the line at the real ATM machine, staring blankly at all the confusing buttons... "What's Quick $40 mean? Do I want stamps?!? I DON'T KNOW!!!"


(Thanks to Lance at Econ Testing In Progress for the interesting link... Yes, these three dashes now have a function...)


So the real point in showing the technological power to which our children now have easy access is to prove that our material desires have gone so far beyond our basic needs that even those lazy, unproductive suckers known as kids get technology that defines them as light-years ahead of the third world in terms of both quality of life and general satisfaction.

It's not quite as symbolic if adults have access to life-enhancing goods, because they've made the conscious decision to spend their hard-earned money on more food, more electronics, more gas for their car or more of whatever the hell they please. But when our children - who could have an almost equally excellent quality of life with only Lincoln Logs or a bunch of sand (we made forts!) - get these toys, it really tells you something about the true underlying wealth of our (and a lot of the world's) economy.

A larger part of the world's economy, though, needs malaria nets so they'll stop using mosquitoes as Micro-Machines.


(...But that's really not the point of this post. I actually do love the fact that we're wealthy as all get-out - I just figured I'd point out the evidence...)