Spicy Science...

...Is not really science...


I remember a few times in my life when I got a little too close to having a car accident, or almost falling off a parking garage, or some other close call that made me think, "Holy crap - I could've died!"

I'm sure we've all had some such experience, and after you've calmed down a little, you start thinking, "Hey... What if I did die, but now I'm living some sort of alternate existence...?"

I'm just going to assume that it's not just me that has thought this after a close call. I know you all have entertained the notion at some point, if not after numerous frightening experiences...

Well, the old alternate life-route idea has shown up in my life again. No, not because I fell down in the kitchen while making coffee and dislocated my elbow (Remember kids: Always be careful when standing), but rather because I spend my time surfing the internet and happened to stumble across an interesting idea:

Quantum Suicide / Quantum Immortality

If you don't feel like reading, or you just feel more comfortable staring at the bluish-hued background of Foreecon and don't want to click on links, I'll summarize (and do absolutely no justice to the articles since this has been written about countless times by much more knowledgeable folks than I.)

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Some version of you, in at least one of the infinite number of parallel universes in the multiverse, will escape every situation that leads to your death, and consequently you'll live forever. Given an infinite set of possibilities, there is a non-zero chance that at least "one of you" will be given every opportunity to survive continuously.

So, think of something that could kill you, then imagine how you somehow survive, given a particular set of circumstances that are required, and available, in one of an infinite number of possible universes.

The interesting implication of this interpretation of quantum mechanics is that an observer is necessary for your continued existence (put simply....), and thus the life in which you live eternally is the one that you're observing; the only one you will personally be able to experience, also known as you.

So, as everyone you know ultimately dies, you'll be miraculously escaping all diseases and dangers, living one shockingly lucky year after another. Of course, from their perspective, you already died millions of times in millions (or an infinite number...) of universes, in every conceivable way.
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In one universe I was found dead on my kitchen floor, surrounded by coffee and hot women, with that song "Life's Been Good" by The Eagles playing on the stereo.

...But In my universe, there were no women and I had to clean 10 square yards of coffee with my one good arm, and I certainly wasn't listening to that song by The Eagles.

So, to apply: Every time the possibility of death seems more likely than usual, there is most likely a larger number of universes in which you have died, but not to worry: You're always gonna make it.

...And if you've ever wanted an excuse to drive a Ford Pinto down to southern Mexico for some bar-brawling and "experimentation" with cheap prostitutes (what're you gonna do, die from syphilis?!?), feel free. Unfortunately, you're just increasing the odds of devastating your family in other universe when you get syphilis in southern Mexico and die from an explosive rear-end collision while on your way to the hospital, but at least you won't know about it!
...In some parallel universe, Ford makes cars that don't explode...

You always knew you'd live forever, didn't you?


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In the next edition of Rock Hard Spicy Science: Von Nuemann Probes, Berzerkers and the imminent threat to life on Earth. My sollution? Destroy all other life in the universe.
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